Breaking the Cycle: 5 Reasons We Disempower Each Other

Empowerment is a state many of us aspire to, yet truly empowered individuals are rarer than one might hope.

The path to empowerment—marked by increased self-awareness, confidence, and the capacity to advocate for oneself—can be fraught with challenges. These obstacles often stem from external pressures and internal doubts molded by our past experiences, societal norms, or the behaviors of those around us.

Throughout my life, I've often found myself on both sides of disempowerment. I rarely received encouragement to stand tall and reach my potential. Instead, whenever I dared to break out of the confines of mediocrity, I was swiftly reminded to 'know my place'.

This environment taught me a harsh way of interacting with the world, one that I regretfully mirrored at times, cutting others down just as I had been. However, I've learned that transformative change is possible, and it begins with understanding the roots of disempowerment.

In this blog post, we will explore the five pervasive reasons why we often disempower each other, sometimes without even realizing it.

1. Zero-sum Mentality and Competition:

It's the belief that resources are finite and limited, that there are only winners and losers, and that success for one means failure for another. Our upbringing, education systems, and societal structures often reinforce this flawed thinking.

Consequently, this scarcity mindset lends itself to a tendency to hoard resources or withhold assistance from others out of fear of losing one's own advantage. It fosters feelings of anxiety, competition, and insecurity, driving individuals to prioritize self-preservation over cooperation and generosity.

2. Insecurities and Fear:

Often, people disempower others because of their own insecurities. Seeing someone else excel can trigger feelings of inadequacy or fear of being overshadowed. This can lead to defensive behaviors aimed at keeping others "in their place" to maintain a sense of superiority or comfort.

In The War of Art, Steven Pressfield discusses how resistance toward pursuing creative or challenging endeavors can be reflected and amplified by those around us. Loved ones, acting out of their own insecurities and fears of inadequacy, may project their resistance onto individuals attempting to break out of the status quo.

They might do this out of a subconscious desire to keep the individual close or maintain a familiar dynamic, fearing that success might lead to separation or highlight their own unaddressed failings.

3. Desire for Control:

This stems from a desire to maintain the status quo; instilling fear and insecurity is a common strategy used to control others.

By emphasizing the potential consequences of disobedience or dissent, controllers seek to deter individuals from questioning or challenging their authority. And by controlling access to information and limiting freedom of expression, controllers can manipulate the narrative and perpetuate their own interests.

I vividly recall an encounter at age 11 when a male classmate asserted that men don't like intelligent women because they're harder to control. A blunt observation – but where did he learn such a notion?

4. Societal and Cultural Conditioning:

Societal and cultural conditioning run deep, shaping our perceptions and behaviors from an early age. Stereotypes rooted in gender, race, and class can insidiously limit one's perceived power and autonomy. These unfair structures are upheld by enforcers at every level, making me acutely aware of power dynamics from a young age.

For example, we were repeatedly warned as children to never end up in what were considered lowly positions like a janitor, maid, rubbish picker, or security guard. This narrative, rooted in a dehumanizing, shame-based hierarchy, always struck me as unkind and wrong. It underscored a toxic cultural belief that some jobs—and thereby some people—are less valuable than others.

This mindset reveals a fundamental flaw in our societal values—it focuses on the wrong measures of worth. By placing undue emphasis on academic and economic success, we overlook the inherent value of individuals and the essential nature of all forms of labor.

It's a system that is inherently unfair, yet rather than challenge this inequality, we often exacerbate it by demeaning those who are most in need of support and solidarity. This perpetuates a cycle of disrespect and disregard for the dignity of labor, which is counterproductive to building a compassionate and equitable society.

5. Lack of Awareness:

Some dismiss these issues with a resigned shrug, attributing them to "just the way things are." But what's objectively true for all living beings – and universally essential – is the need for resources and nurture to thrive.

The malleability of culture and mindset suggests that our current disempowering norms can, and should, be challenged. Isn't it problematic when we strip others of the resources they need to flourish, all to preserve outdated mindsets and values?

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As we uncover these underlying forces that conspire to keep us small, it becomes evident that fostering awareness is the crucial first step toward breaking these cycles. True empowerment begins within ourselves and extends outward, influencing how we interact with and uplift others.

This commitment to fostering empowerment is what KAGUM is all about. It’s not just about empowering myself; it’s about creating a ripple effect that empowers others, thereby nurturing a community grounded in support, growth, and equity.

In our next post, we'll delve into practical strategies that can help us empower ourselves and those around us. Together, we'll explore ways to transform our newfound understanding into action, thereby contributing to a more just and compassionate society.

Thank you for joining me on this journey. Stay tuned for our next discussion, and let's continue to empower one another in ways that matter.